the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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