My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
