It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
