i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize