So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
