So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
