C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
