69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
