U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize