I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
