i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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