Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
