Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
