i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
