if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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