hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
