the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
