Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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