is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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