I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
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I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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