At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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