if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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