Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
