we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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