I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
