I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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