dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize