remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
