Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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