hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize