Just fell off a train. Bad.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
