you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
