Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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