I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
