I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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