U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
