I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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