if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize