I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
