They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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