Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You've changed since you got that strap on
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
