Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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