my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
