Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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