you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
