There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
