it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
