Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
