we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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