Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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