my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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