Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Why is your signature on my underwear?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
