R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Come share oat with me in your robe
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
