It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
