is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
