Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
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Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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