Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
