When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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