I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
