So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
