It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
