I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
